Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize