I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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