Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
