i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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