Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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