they need to just BURY HIM!
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
