Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
