we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
