Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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