First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
