hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
