We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
