You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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