its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
