so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
