She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
