Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
