THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
you have to choose: penises or morals?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
