i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
