I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
