I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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