when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
