You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
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