I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
