I love black thongs
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
