So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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