you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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