im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I take back everything I said about communal showers
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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