Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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