U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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