She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Randomize
