wat bout pragnant strippers??
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize