I feel like abortions should bother me more
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
