I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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