12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Do you have feelings for this penis?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize