I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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