You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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