shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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