Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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