you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
