When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
