I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
