Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Come share oat with me in your robe
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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