covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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