He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
