i don't like sucking hair
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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