It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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