So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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