AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
