Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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