so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
