my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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