we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
