He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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