Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize