i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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