I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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