i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
